As you’ll have noticed I’ve not blogged for a while. Despite being in my mid thirties I can quite honestly say I’ve been pretty naive about the whole baby thing!!
Firstly I thought labour would be a breeze… How wrong I was!!!
And secondly I genuinely thought the first few weeks of motherhood would be the same… Well I knew it would be an ‘adjustment’ but seeing as all newborn babies do is eat, sleep, poo and cry how difficult could it be! After all I hadn’t had much sleep during the latter part of my pregnancy so I could cope on just a few hours, right???
People always warn you that you don’t get much sleep with a newborn but I don’t think you can ever really be prepared for the actual reality of that.
I didn’t sleep for a whole 3 days during labour/birth but somehow you manage to get by on pure adrenaline. When you don’t have that surge of adrenaline anymore the lack of sleep is HARD!
Generally I am getting by on about 2-3 hours sleep a night and that’s if I’m lucky. The best night I had two 3-4 hour stints, and although I’d generally describe E as a ‘good baby’ we’re currently going through a phase of keeping mummy awake ALL night. She also tries to keep daddy awake too but he seems to be able to turn off his baby sensors at night. Yes, I’m a little bit jealous!
The midwives warn you that the so called baby blues can hit a few days after birth. It’s no wonder after such a massive high that there is going to be the inevitable come down and yes it did happen to me. It also happened to my husband and we spent the first few days sharing hugs and tears… Some down to pure exhaustion of what we’d just been through, elation of the perfect thing we’d created and anticipation of what was to come.
However, apart from numerous warnings about how to look out for signs of post-natal depression, the rollercoaster of emotions that a new mum experiences seems to be glossed over.
I know I’m not suffering from PND but I’ll quite openly admit that I’m finding it hard to cope emotionally – and it gets so much worse at night.
My beautiful daughter is the best thing to happen to me and I want to be the perfect mum, but it’s hard.
Hearing your baby cry and not being able to do anything is perhaps one if the most heartbreaking things there is.
Usually it’s just hunger, a nappy change or just the need for a cuddle but when it’s 3am in the morning and none of these things work, then it’s quite easy for the tears to flow yourself.
Although at stupid o clock in the morning it might seem like you’re the only person going through this, don’t forget there are plenty of other mums in the world experiencing the same thing – none of us are perfect!!
I was really pleased to read this blog the other day by Giovanna Fletcher (Tom from McFly’s other half).
I could very well have written the post myself, as I’m sure could thousands of other women and it’s very refreshing to read a ‘celebrity’ mum story that makes her sound like a real human being – it doesn’t happen that often!!
Being a mum is amazing and the good feelings generally outweigh the negative experiences but one shouldn’t forget how difficult it can be, particularly for a first timer like me.
I’m just so glad I’ve got the support of my wonderful husband and my family and friends and when I look at the face of my beautiful little girl I know it’s all worth it!