You just keep me hanging on

I probably shouldn’t be writing this post today as I don’t think I’m in the best frame of mind.

It doesn’t help that I’ve just watched a particularly depressing film, which left me in tears but I probably needed that cry to let it all out.

I’m so frustrated!

False hopes

Last night, I believed I’d gone into labour.   Yesterday afternoon and evening I was experiencing dull aches in my nether regions, similar to that of period pains.  Feeling hopeful and a little bit nervous I took myself off to bed wondering what the night would bring. I managed a couple of hours sleep before waking up to more intense cramping, which was coming and going at irregular intervals.

Yay, contractions I thought!  Out comes the contraction timer on my phone – 9 mins, 8 mins, 7 mins, 8 mins, 9 mins, 8 mins – pretty regular but not close enough together to start panicking and rushing off to the hospital.

Try and get some sleep they said at the antenatal classes so that’s what I did – thinking if they get worse the intensity is sure to wake me up, or if not I’ll carry on monitoring in the morning, and get ready to call the hospital.   But of course that would be just to easy!!

Since waking this morning absolutely nothing has happened – no contractions, not even the slightest bit of cramping to stop me from thinking that I wasn’t just imagining last night.
Husband been texting me all day wondering if he’s going to get the signal to rush home and I’ve had to tell him that everything is completely normal!

I know the latent phase of labour can last for ages – weeks even, but at 4 days overdue I assumed that any contractions would carry on rather than just stopping!  Wishful thinking hey?  Fingers crossed that we get going again tonight.

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Still in limbo

The last few days I’ve started to feel a little bit nervous about going into labour – today I want it more than anything!

It doesn’t help matters that I’ve been up since ridiculous o’clock in the morning and my sanity levels are probably at an all time low!

Today is another milestone date in my pregnancy – 16th March was the original due date that I was given by the hospital when we went for an early 6 week scan and saw a little baked bean size baby on the screen!  Even then I knew it would probably be later than that (so was surprised when they put it back to 14th March at the 12 week scan) but I’m sick of waiting now – and knowing that I could have another 12 or so days before I get to meet baby is just frustrating!

I would really like to avoid getting induced – I’d love to be able to go into labour myself so I know what it feels like when it just ‘happens’.

But so far my list of ways to induce the baby naturally has not been fruitful!!

Curry hasn’t worked
Pineapple hasn’t worked
Walking hasn’t worked
Driving over speed bumps hasn’t worked (yes, I really am willing to try anything)
And at risk of TMI, I’ve also tried the sex method too – believing it to be the most consistent – and of course, that didn’t work either!

There’s not really much more I can do – of course I know this, so I just need to sit here and wait for baby to become fully baked and keep my fingers crossed that I’m not giving birth to an absolute giant by the time she comes out!

When you least expect it

I guess it’s similar to when I was actually trying to conceive… probably the most overused line I heard at this time was ‘relax, it’ll happen when you least expect it.’  A sound piece of advice generally, although quite annoying when you hear it for the hundredth time.  But I’m hoping that if I heed it this time, it might actually be true!

Time is slipping away

The main reason for frustration is the fact that each day overdue is another day into my maternity leave, which means less time I actually get to spend time with my little one before going back to work.

I’m not going back until January 2015, and I actually have the option of staying off until Feb/March (if I could afford it) but still, I’m jealous of those mums whose babies have arrived on time or slightly early and have got those precious extra moments.

At the moment I’m thankful that I don’t have too much added pressure of family and friends calling me every 5 minutes to ask if baby has arrived yet (as if I wouldn’t tell them!) however a few texts have slipped through, just checking that ‘everything is okay?’  Luckily for them, I’m still at the polite stage of being overdue!  God forbid anyone who texts or calls if I’m waiting right until the eleventh hour!

Just trying to think of a few things to do over the next few days to try and keep my mind off things – although that’s easier said than done when you’ve got a giant bump attached to you!

Trying to stay positive but if I have to hoover and dust this house one more time before baby arrives, I think I may just explode!!

And then nothing happened…

So here’s the 40 week update…

It’s funny isn’t it?  You focus on a date for so long and then it passes with absolutely nothing to show for it…

Grumpy Cat Nothing

Friday 14th March 2014… my due date.

Obviously there’s only a handful of women who actually give birth on their due date but I had really been hoping to join this exclusive club, if only just to prevent me waiting any longer!

The original date they gave me was 16th March, so there’s still time – and having worked forward from my own dates, I always thought it was more likely to be around 20th March, but having seen 14.03.2014 written down so many times on my notes it starts to become an obsession!

I’ve been experiencing a few symptoms of pre-labour for the past few days…

I haven’t had a full on show, but I’m starting to lose it bit by bit.  I’ve also been getting a LOT of braxton hicks although they aren’t quite ramping up enough for my liking!!

I know from others that none of these are definitive signs of an imminent labour, however I am still hopeful!!

I don’t really believe in the old wives’ tales that are meant to bring on labour – however it hasn’t stopped me from trying!
I’ve been eating pineapple all week and last night we went for the obligatory due date curry with another friend who is due at the end of the month.

In bed last night, I was convinced that I was starting to get some labour twinges, however it turned out that I’d just eaten far too much!  I’m not sure what to expect once it happens so every little movement or pain gets scrutinised to extremes until I realise it’s probably just trapped wind or indigestion!

As people keep telling me, I’ll KNOW when it happens for real!

Everyone seems to be having a sweepstake on the date of arrival now – comment below if you fancy having your own guess!!

Impromptu bump shoot

There’s probably something a bit odd about me and my husband… despite the fact that we both have a love of amateur photography, we don’t seem to take a lot of pictures, particularly of each other.  We also don’t have a great deal of photos of the pair of us – something which we will hopefully rectify now that we’re about to become a little family!

If we go on holiday or on a day out we take literally hundreds of photos – sightseeing, scenery, food, wildlife but it’s those inbetween times that we just never seem to get the camera out – which is actually a real shame.

With the sun shining at the weekend – I hope wherever you are in the country you were enjoying the beautiful sunshine as much as we were – we decided to get out for some fresh air and go for a walk to our local nature reserve.
It’s actually somewhere we spend a lot of time although it’s usually freezing!!  This time it felt like the middle of Summer and was just gorgeous!  With the camera actually charged and ready to go for when the big day arrived, we decided to grab it and take it out with us and I’m so glad we did as I have ended up with some lovely bump photos for posterity!

I know a few girls who have organised professional bump shoots – it’s not something that I thought about doing really.  For starters it was a luxury that we probably couldn’t really afford and I’m not really comfortable at posing for staged photos, no matter how lovely the photographer is so it was never really going to be on the cards.

The pictures that my hubby took today have turned out wonderfully and could almost be professional photos – so I’ve ended up with my very own bump shoot for free!  It’s a shame we didn’t think about taking the tripod as it would have been lovely for the husband to be in on the pics too but we’ll make sure we remember that when baby is here!

Anyway here are the results.  There’s only  a few pics but I’m really pleased with them!  What do you think?

RSPB Shoot 1   RSPB Shoot  

  RSPB Shoot    RSPB Shoot

Week 39 – update

Less than a week to go!  Although I’m sure there’ll be a week 40 & 41 update at least!!

Bump:

The bump is definitely getting bigger – surely there can’t be much room inside there now.  Here is a picture taking on Friday just before a lovely evening out with my friends:

Bump - Week 39

Bump at week 39

The evening with my friends was lovely – was a last chance for them to see me before baby arrives and for me to enjoy a nice meal out without needing a babysitter!!  At the end of the evening they also presented me with a lovely hamper of baby gifts, including some beautiful newborn outfits, some bath goodies for me and baby and the obligatory bottle of bubbly!!  I hadn’t organised a baby shower so something like that wasn’t really expected but it was so lovely of them!!  I have beautiful friends!

Preparation:

Having been obsessed with getting the house in order before the health visitor arrived on Wednesday, I then picked up a voicemail to say that the visit was now cancelled!  There’s not much time to arrange another antenatal visit before the baby arrives so it looks like the first time I meet the HV will be once the little one is here.  Oh well, at least I have a super tidy house now!

Food:

Of course, I didn’t get round to the freezer meals.  You didn’t really expect anything else did you?  However the lovely husband has said that he will cook some chilli and bolognese this week if I do some soup so we have a deal!

Other stuff:

Have I mentioned already that I love eBay!  If I haven’t I’m sure you’ll find me obsessing about it quite a lot!  We are generally a very thrifty household, and buy a lot of our items second-hand where possible.  I have always enjoyed rummaging around charity shops (the majority of my pre-pregnancy clothes were bought from charity shops, vintage stores or eBay) so it was never going to be any different when baby came along.

Anyone who has a baby will know how expensive certain items can be so we’ve tried to cut down wherever possible by getting second hand, and we’ve been particularly lucky to find items that have hardly been used at bargain prices.

This week’s bargain buy was a cot top changer – it wasn’t really something I had considered previously but having had problems with my back I begun to think it might be a necessity, plus a few other mums had said that it had really helped them – particularly those who’d had a section.  So having done a little bit of research in a few baby stores first I set about having a look at them on eBay and ending up winning an auction for one a few days ago!

The one that we bought was originally from Mamas and Papas – they don’t seem to have the exact one in store currently, however the ones that they do have are either £58.50 or an astonishing £130.50!  We bought ours for the amazingly low price of £7.00!

Love finding a bargain! Just a few finishing touches to go with the nursery then hopefully I’ll be able to do an update!

Midwife:

I have my final midwife appointment on Wednesday assuming baby hasn’t made an appearance by then.  Last time I went she mentioned offering me a sweep at the next appointment but I’m unsure whether that will happen on the day or not (as I won’t be quite 40 weeks) so I may need to arrange to go back a few days later.  I’m not entirely sure what I think about having a sweep really… I know some people choose not to have one and just wait it out but being the incredibly impatient person that I am, I think I’ll be taking anything they can offer….

This week already sees plans for long walks, hot curries, pineapple and dare I say it lots of sex…. hubby will be pleased!!!!

No Room at the Inn…

One of the first things that I was asked at my first midwife booking in appointment was whether I would like a home birth or a hospital birth.

Of course it’s very much a personal preference and my biggest respect goes out to those ladies who have a lovely relaxing birth at home, however I very much want a hospital birth.

Thankfully, besides outpatient appointments, I’ve never spent any time in hospital before so I don’t really know what to expect but I just know that I’d rather be there than at home.  It’s probably a familar worry to first time mums but if anything does go wrong, I want to be in the best possible place, and I don’t think that’s in my living room!

However, with less than a week to go to my due date I’m having serious worries that I may be forced into giving birth at home!!
A few days ago I happened across the front page of our local paper with the headline:

Baby unit ‘too full’ to receive mum-to-be

Here is a link to the article online

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/no-room-countess-chester-hospital-6777188

This is my hospital so I was a little freaked! Ok, so it all turned out okay in the end, but it could have been very different.  With somewhat of a baby boom happening at the moment (is it just me or is everyone in the UK pregnant at the moment?) I had often wondered what would happen if too many people went into labour at the same time, but I assumed that there would be provisions in place.  Now I’m not so sure!

I’ve reason to believe that the hospital that this lady was sent to is pretty good however it’s probably too far for us to go.  There is another hospital near to us but I’ve not heard good stories about it and would be quite upset if I was forced to go there instead of my preferred maternity unit.

I’m sure this was just a very unusual situation but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that when the hour approaches they’ve got a room waiting for me!  Otherwise I might be posting my birth photos from the bike sheds outside the hospital!!

My home cleaning is going to take a step up this week just in case…..

Week 38 – update

Where did my first week of maternity go? I want the baby here as soon as possible but I’m hoping that the next 9 months don’t fly past so quickly!

I’m half way through week 38, so what’s been happening this week?

Bump:

Well it’s definitely time for me to post the obligatory bump photo – just in case I don’t get another chance!
To be honest I haven’t actually taken that many throughout the pregnancy – something I wish I’d done more off… but there’s a few which show me getting gradually bigger!

This is at exactly 38 weeks.  Excuse the messy hair, I’d just woken up from a bit of an afternoon nap!!

Bump - 38 weeks

Baby bump at 38 weeks

Here’s a little montage that I’ve put together to show my changing shape – the first picture was taken at 13 weeks, when I thought I was huge!!  The little bump looks so cute now compared to this big lump I’m carrying around!! 🙂

Baby bump montage

Baby Bump Montage

Preparation:

The cleaning has started!!   Well it’s not quite got to the obsessive stage yet but I don’t think it will be long!  I feel like I’ve had so many clear outs in the last few weeks but it still seems like there is a never ending load of rubbish in the house!

We started a few weeks back by having a massive clear out of clothes on eBay, which not only created some much needed space but also added a few pennies into the baby fund.  We’ve also had a few trips to the local tip to get rid of all the unnecessary junk lying around the place, but there’s still plenty to go.  How on earth does a house get so full?

This week is the fanatical hoovering, dusting and scrubbing every surface I can think of.  This isn’t like me at all so there must be some truth in the nesting instinct!   Not that I like to live in a mess the rest of the time, but I do usually find something better to do with my time!

The cleaning is also being helped along by the fact that I have a health visitor coming round on Wednesday.  I have no idea what to expect from her – I’ve already had the home visit from my midwife and a breastfeeding support nurse so my suspicious nature tells me that she’s coming round to spy on me and our home to check that we’re not going to be bringing baby up in some kind of hovel or drug den.

We have a perfectly lovely home in which to bring up baby but I still feel the need to clean from top to bottom in time for the appointment… the only thing left to do is make sure our slightly neurotic cat stays out of the way!!

Food:

When we went to our antenatal classes a few weeks back, one thing that we were asked to do was to go away and ask parents that we knew what their top tips were for the last few weeks of pregnancy/first few weeks with a newborn.

The one thing that kept recurring was to try and prepare some meals to put in the freezer ready for when baby arrives as generally in the first few weeks there’s not a lot of time for eating properly!

For one I love my food so the thought of not eating really disturbs me, and secondly as I plan on breastfeeding I’ll need to keep my strength up, so having some tasty, nutritious meals already prepared sounds pretty appealing.
It’s just that I can’t seem to get around to making them in the first place! I’ve been adding a few ideas for what I can make on Pinterest but the actual making of them seems like such a chore! I used to love cooking but I’ve got out of the habit of it recently – I am fortunate to have a lovely husband who really enjoys cooking and baking so tends to do the majority of our meals.

I don’t really want to ask him to prepare all the freezer meals – he’s working hard all day while I am at home so it should really be up to me to sort it out, I really just need some motivation! I’ll keep you posted if I ever get round to it!

If not, I wonder how long it takes to get sick of beans on toast?

Other stuff:

We popped down to a local NCT nearly new sale at the weekend – various people I’d spoken to had recommended going so thought we’d give it a try! It was crazy!! I’ve never seen so many pregnant women or mothers in the same room. It wasn’t the biggest room so was a bit of a scrum! We aren’t members of NCT either so missed out on the first half hour which is exclusive to members only – I think the best things probably tend to go during this period.

However we did get a few bundles of clothing which look brand new – and they only cost us £4 for the lot! Most of the clothes there were for older kids from around 18 months to 3 years so I guess we’ll be going back to another sale at a later date!

That’s all for now – I’ll update you later on in the week how I got on with the Health Visitor and whether or not there’s been any movement in the cooking situation!!  Bets are on!